PLUNGE47

The Kindergarten Thanksgiving performance was a riot. A complete joy sitting among other parents with camcorders attached to our arms. Ivy had a speaking role and with ease she rattled off her line…

She has every appearance of living for these moments. She danced and smiled with joy on stage. Her teacher even pulled us aside to comment on our little star. Yet before we left, we searched the house for Ivy. I found her in the bathroom overflowing with nervousness.

On the trip to the school, in an effort to get her to speak, I broke out her new favorite CD (the burned CD of the children’s Christmas program). Even then she barely sang along – though I belted out all the lyrics. (Thankfully my girls have not reached the stage to judge my skills – they still dance with me and believe I know what I am doing!)

We all know this strange emotion. This fear of failure. I had thought it would take longer to develop. But pulling into the school I felt for Ivy. We have all been in her shoes – with only adrenaline to carry us forward.

We could remain stuck. Overcome by fear. Living the life of the Super Committee. But there is no reward when we are idle. I suppose failure is avoided… but then so is life.

As we move toward Thanksgiving take the untraveled roads. Move out of your comfortable cubicle. Do the thing that frightens you**. Feel the rush of adrenaline.

Then give thanks. Because come failure or success, victory or defeat, we know our Father loves us. That He is proud of us. And He is belting out the lyrics of our favorite songs,

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” ~ Zeph 3:17

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** For me, the question, “what frightens?” is an easy and long list. And it begins with snakes. But I am not calling for us to buy a recorder and become snake tamers (no matter how much having the whole church learn the recorder excites Polly). Instead, what are things you know you should do, but avoid? Like being the first to apologize. Or speaking to your friend about – fill in the blank.

As adults it can be difficult to answer the question of “what frightens?” When we are children we are forced into fearful situations, from starting school to public speaking to … but as adults we can avoid situations. Over time we learn what we are good at, where we are accepted (and by whom) – so we are able to create comfortable cubicles. In these spaces we imagine we are brave, but there is no bravery without fear! When our choices only extend to the edge of the cubicle, the world is too small. Break free. Take the risk. Experience the bravery of overcoming fears.

We all have a memory of the milk slowly becoming solid in someone’s refrigerator (never our own). In these moments expiration dates make sense. Food breaks down – weird things happen. And I can only imagine what happens to the people who drink clumpy milk. And yet we also know that expiration dates are just estimates. An expired can of soda won’t kill you. As a youth pastor I drank my fair share and even gave them out to students (we found a stash of year expired cans in the back of our closet). I am none the worse for wear, nor were the students – though I admit it is hard to judge what causes all the changes taking place inside students!

The Calder’s recently related a story of the arrival of their youngest. Before they could carry her out of the hospital the nurse asked to see their car seat. It was a good seat, it had served well through their first children. It was Kid tested. Experienced you could say. But the nurse only checked one thing – the sticker on the bottom. And the sticker revealed the car seat was not just past its prime – but expired. Therefore the nurse refused to let them take home their new little girl…

And it seems we are in the same predicament (the photos above). I told Meg we should just risk it. After-all nurses get busy. Unfortunately this produced, “what kind of father are you?” look (or maybe the “how did I marry you?” look – they are close to the same). And we are now registered for a new car seat/stroller combo*.

* Why the combo? Well, I had already pushed my luck convincing her our stroller with the broken handle could last one more kid (It pops back in place each time!). But once I started losing, especially with logic could leave our baby at the hospital…  well my victories can be like a house of cards.

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When I related this story at small group, Katie Jo responded by saying, “So some guy can lite-up while carrying the baby out of the hospital, but you can’t take you baby home without a new carseat?!”

This is the way of regulations. They are often good things. But they are never perfect. There are always exceptions.  I am sure at some point our carseat would break and not be safe. But right now we have only used it for two years (one year for each girl). Obviously the regulation was designed with the possibility that it could be in use all six years. And while materials break down over time, I imagine there would be warning signs (like smelling the milk).

Plus, back to Katie Jo’s comment, regulations often miss the most important parts of life. As we took Ivy home I wondered how can anyone let me walk out of here with a child? I had (sometimes have) no clue what I was doing – yet, with the right carseat…

And it is this way with the law. Hence Christ came. He brought salvation, not only for the coming age – but this age. He taught a new way of life. One not bound by regulations, but committed to relationships.

The written law is good as a guide, but true holiness requires much more. I suppose Christ taught us the smell test for life. That we may know what is truly good.

I do not often post on Facebook. Sure there are announcements for my brilliant blogs, but I assume most people are not interested in the random details of my life. Yet occasionally something is so significant I decide to post. Like the day Phoebe finally made it to the potty. After loads of failures (and laundry) our little girl had taken the most important step toward maturity (Think I exaggerate? Walking and talking can not compare. If the person sitting next to you could only do one what would you prefer???). But that moment proved to be a mirage and the laundry continued… and soon defeat set-in. Rhett could save his “Wooooooo Hooooooo” or maybe change the “w” to a “b”!

And now here we are again attempting to teach little Phoebe how to potty. Our plan was to have her trained before Darcy arrives (not just for the ease, but the financial savings of one less in diapers). We are stacked with glorious Halloween candy as incentive. Even more, this morning, while changing her pants I told her she could have anything if she would just potty in the potty. Which I should know from scripture is a silly thing for a dad to say to his daughter (consider Herod and his daughter - or poor John the Baptist, Mark 6:17-29), but potty training can make a drive to Disney World seem worthwhile!

Unfortunately, Phoebe is not at all interested in potty-training. I expect her to be troubled by wet pants. Instead, she would rather me not change her pants! She wants to keep reading her books! The thought of candy is exciting, but not enough to motivate. So here we are wondering if maybe we again just need to wait. At least I know this time to wait to post anything on Facebook.

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We are effected and changed by all kinds of things out of our control. I make plans for Phoebe, but in reality only she can choose to use the potty. And someday she will, but not on my timeline. This is also true of so many other events in life. Terrible things enter our lives. Rarely do we have any control. We certainly try to grab life’s reigns. Unfortunately life is not a trained horse, but wild. And no matter how we pull and jerk, the horse will take us where we do not want to go…

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For Halloween we always carve a pumpkin, then Meg bakes the seeds. Below is the picture of our jack-o-lantern. He watches as Phoebes eats the pumpkin seeds. Completely disconcerting – to him, but out of his control!

The picture is silly, but these moments – moments together – are one thing we can control. We can love and live with our family and friends. We can invite others inside. So while life continues to jerk us here and there – we will not go alone. Instead we have friends and pumpkins seeds for the ride… I just hope the person I am by is potty trained.

“Is dis chap-stick?” said Phoebe, as she held an open glue stick. Which I realized she had rubbed over her lips… at least it was quiet for awhile.

Life can leave you stuck in a constant birage of events. This week has been one of those moments for the church, with one sad event after another. So far this week I have officiated two funerals and sat in another with a church family. I will officiate a third on Thursday. And tonight I received another phone call that a church member’s parent passed away.

I can only describe this as a whirlwind of stress and emotion. And our church is stuck spinning. In the midst of these days it can feel like nothing is working. That we are bailing out the water with daisy cups.

As a random addition I am stepping back into the world of youth ministry. A friend from college – my best friend’s brother – asked me months ago to lead a retreat. I assumed there would be nothing going on the week before Halloween, so Wednesday through Friday I will deliver four messages.

I can only say this has left me stressed. How did I get stuck here? What was I thinking agreeing to this retreat? I am a pastor now, who cares if a friend needed a favor… (Okay, the last line makes me sound like a jerk – but I thought, so maybe it is true!)

But even in the whirlwind things connect. The theme for the retreat is “Pause”. Step back from your busy life and listen. Hear God.

Lets be honest. This world is a mess. Sometimes it is wonderful, but sometimes a week is just like this one (or worse). Emotionally and physically draining. But we can not escape. We might ignore reality – but eventually reality rips our head out of the sand and reminds us we are stuck here.

Sin will tell us there is no hope. This reality will always be the same. We might as well just wait for Jesus’ return…

And yet, if we grow quiet, there is another voice. A voice that reminds us we are stuck here with a purpose. A purpose to redeem the world. A purpose to make the world right. A purpose to step into the whirlwind of darkness and blaze the light of life.

So tonight I may borrow Phoebe’s chap-stick and relish the quiet. Relish what will be heard.