I asked Meg to stop buying candy from the store – to help keep my weight in check… She asked why I could not just stop eating candy?

The logic is there. You are watching your weight, so do not eat candy. But then I find peanut M&Ms. Well one won’t hurt… really a handful isn’t so bad… and in this manner the whole bag slowly becomes a part of my body. And peanut M&M body is not as attractive as the Mars advertisements…

So the only option for me is to not have the candy around the house. Which is a little bit of a let down. I am not sure how you picture me, but in my mind I have a strong will. I am able to stand for what is right. I am committed. I am… (fill in various awesome traits). And maybe I am all of these things, until faced with peanut M&Ms…

I wonder how else I am not up to the challenge? What other things cause me to falter? And through the lens of my defeats, I start to wonder if I have any awesome traits?

M&M are a silly thing, but I find depression is not some grand event. It is often many little defeats adding up. Often ridiculous things we just haven’t mastered. In these moments our successes are forgotten or denied. And we find ourselves wondering if we have any value at all…

In this place, the gospel becomes a curious thing. Why would God be concerned about us? About me?

The woman at the well in John 4 had set out to avoid people. She came to the well at noon, during the heat of the day – when everyone else had come and gone. She expected – she normally – saw no one. Yet there she found Jesus. He would not let her avoid His love.

And as I eat peanut M&Ms I am sure His love has nothing to do with what I have done. It has nothing to do with what you have done.

But He sees something inside. A possibility. A glint of the past when we were an unbroken image of God. And for this, He delights in us. More than that, he refuses to allow us to wallow. So he comes… to offer a drink…

Thankfully I am unable to say “no” to food…