On New Year’s Eve we took down the baby bed. One of Meg and my shared traits is sleepiness. Which we passed down – so our kids never tried to climb out. Just snuggled in. And so they were kicked out only when required. Which means the bed was up nearly the whole time through our four kids. Ivy is 12, nearly 13. Taking it down, it felt like the end of an era. And it is. There won’t be another baby in it until grandkids… grandkids?!
That night we rang in the New Year at 8pm — using London’s countdown. Ezekiel was soon to bed — we are sleepy — but Ivy left for a party with friends. She really is nearly a teenager. Is she ready? More crucially, am I?
The New Year is always a moment to look back. For a moment, with Ivy walking out the door, I wanted everyone back in the baby bed. But not even Ezekiel wanted back into his “little bed”. We never go back. 2018 is gone with most of my 30s and all of my babies. 2019 is here. This is the moment I have… so who will I be today? For my kids and my wife? For our church?
Of course I want to be like Mary Poppins: practically perfect in every way. Letting go of serious life, of stress, forgetting the broken and letting my imagination go. Basically I want to find my balloon, that one that carries me up… rather than the balloon that falls flat. (I wasn’t sure Mary Poppins could be remade, but the movie was great!)
The practical part of being perfect is setting down my phone while I am at home. The iOS update reports my average screen time and it is… too much. So I created a “Downtime” setting from when I get home till bedtime. I doubt I can reach Poppins’ status. But I hope this will allow me to love a bit more, and I think I will also sleep better. And with this small step, I am carried into 2019. Cheers.