Yesterday E’s class had a bulldog party (they earn letters for good behavior). Their party was a day to dress up in costumes. E wanted to wear his Spiderman costume. It has big muscles and buttons with web slinging sound effects. Only E has been growing… and is too big to be Spidey. So earlier in the week I rushed to the store and found a Mandalorian costume on sale. E loved it. Until we were about to leave. Then he started to worry. I want my Spiderman costume … (You are getting bigger!) … I wish this one had buttons… (It has imaginary buttons – you can blast me with your wrist missiles!)… what if no one likes my costume?
Of course, you see the pictures, Ezekalorian is awesome! And everyone agreed. But there was this moment of fear. Darcy had to hold his arm up to blast the camera. Under the mask was a kindergartner crinkled with concern. And no matter how unfounded, that worry takes over.
After this encouragment E felt better, but we were behind schedule and Darcy was concerned she would miss her bus (I drop her and E off, then she catches another bus to LENS). We normally arrive a bit early, so we weren’t close to late, but worry took over… I am going to miss the bus… (We aren’t that late)… I don’t have time to walk E to his class today! … (Look at all the cars still in carline, we are fine. — Thinking, of all days not to walk E to class?!) … What if they leave without me?
Of course Darcy made her bus and I wondered how they could worry about the silliest of things. Yet I woke up in the middle of the night stressed about church. Something I forgot… what a person said… how I misspoke during a message… While I feign maturity, I am just like my kids — overcome by worry.
Honestly I might be worse, because they sleep right through the night. And rest is what we need.
Not just sleep, but to enter into God’s rest. I am not speaking of eternity. But the rest that comes when I hand over my burdens and put my trust in the Creator. When I stop working for approval and accept that I am loved just as I am. John writes in his Gospel that the disciple Jesus loved was leaning on his breast at the last supper. God desires we become this disciple. That we experience His love as we lean on Him — wrapped up in compassion.
This Sunday we continue our Re Solve theme, which follows our daily scripture readings. This week we are in Hebrews, specifically chapter four, calling us to make “every effort to enter that rest.” The sabbath rest. The place where worry’s tension is relieved and we experience grace. Join us at 10:30, in-person with masks or streaming on Facebook or Youtube.